Get What You Need (and Deserve) From Your Relationship
If both partners in a relationship feel that their needs are being met, that relationship is likely to be a lasting one. We all have needs. if they aren’t being met in a relationship, the unfortunate inclination is to look elsewhere.
It should be obvious, but one of the first things to do to get your needs met is to let the other person know what your needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. It’s very likely that your partner wants to please you (as you want to please them). Frankly discussing your needs helps you both.
Of course, you need to be ready to listen to your partner’s need as well. Most couple are relieved once they have this conversation and feel closer than ever. Very rarely, a couple may discover that their needs are completely incompatible. Of course this is upsetting, but the sooner a couple finds out they have incompatible differences the better.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. It’s fine to do that but it may not be a real need that he has. He may prefer you to show your love by considerate little acts. Some people crave words, and other people like to be shown.
Communication is key to making any long term relationship work. Discussing your needs is a good place to start. If you both know what each of you want, it’s easier for you to keep each other happy. If a couple isn’t used to having this kind of discussion it may seem a little uncomfortable at first. Honest discussion is always a good idea and one of the best ways to strengthen a relationship. Plus, it’ll make it more likely you’ll each get what you need.
When people don’t get what they want they sometimes resort to passive-aggressive behavior thinking it’s better than open conflict. However, since a healthy relationship depends on accurate communication, this doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you request something you need, stating clearly that getting it makes you feel loved and appreciated, you’re more likely to get it than you would be if you complained or tried to guilt-trip your partner into giving it to you.
Also keep in mind that each of us is responsible for our own well-being and happiness. This is yet another reason why it important to develop the ability to communicate honestly with each other.
All relationships have rough spots from time to time. You can get through the hard times more easily if you take advantage of other people’s experience.
Your friends undoubtedly have your best interests at heart but sometimes their too close to you to see everything clearly.
Fortunately, there are many sources of good information available today.
One site I like a lot is The Relationship Fix.
That site covers just about every aspect of relationships, but focuses on providing information to help in tough times (after all, most of us can handle the good times without any help.
For example, you can find advice on How to Fix a Long Term Relationship. Another page (Second Chance Romance Review) reviews a program that teaches ways to get a relationship back on track.
The main thing is to realize that all relationships are growth processes. If you keep the communication channels open and find some good advice chances are you’ll come through it closer than ever. The reward of making it work is worth the commitment.
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